


When Dead Ends Meet Again

by Judexcardanxgreenbriar



Category: The Folk of the Air - Holly Black
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Forgiveness, Hate to Love, Post-Book 2: The Wicked King
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-26
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:40:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28344063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Judexcardanxgreenbriar/pseuds/Judexcardanxgreenbriar
Summary: for this prompt: Jude, during her banishment, met someone, and five years later they’re married and with a five year old child that is actually Cardan’s child. Cardan comes back and makes Jude come back with him. He’s trying to win back Jude’s love because he loves her but she’s moved on.
Relationships: Jude Duarte/Cardan Greenbriar, Jude Duarte/Original Character(s)
Comments: 18
Kudos: 39





	1. Prologue

**Jude POV**

I’ll never forget the moment Cardan banished me from Elfhame. When he laughed at me as the guards took me away. At the amusement written all over his face as I proclaimed that I was the Queen of Elfhame. That was five years ago. Five. Years. Ago. 

I was broken. Cardan broke me. Then about two months after I was banished, I found out I was with child. Cardan’s child. At first I didn’t want it. I didn’t want anything to do with him. I didn’t want anything apart of him. But then I went for an ultrasound and heard its little heartbeat and realized I have something worth fighting for. 

Little did I know, that this little person with the most dramatic personality, that definitely came from Cardan, would become my everything. Her name is Carwen Greenbriar. I fought with that name, just because it was so close to Cardan, but it was made for her. She looks so much like him. Dark, ink hair, onyx eyes, pale complexion. Though she has my nose, lips and body structure. She is stubborn in every way possible. 

But I had to move on from Cardan. My life could no longer dwell among him. I had to move on, for Carwen, for myself. I met an amazing man, Lukas. He shows me love in ways that everybody lacked. And he doesn’t only love me, he loves Carwen too. And that is what I needed in a man. To love me and my daughter all the same.

I married Lukas 2 years ago. Carwen was three when we married. He has been the best thing to ever happen in my life besides Carwen. He put pieces of me back together that I didn’t even know were broken. Between Lukas and Carwen, they made me feel whole again. Made me complete. 

This brings me to now. I was in our living room folding laundry when someone knocked on the door. I was expecting some Amazon packages so I didn’t think much about it until I opened the door and a tall fae man with dark, black hair and eyes, the same as my daughters, looked at me. I was frozen in complete shock. 

His eyes lit up in shock. “Jude, is that really you?”


	2. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cardan talks to Jude for the first time in five years!!

**Cardan POV**

Oh my, I can’t believe it. Jude Duarte, my former senechal, the queen of Elfhame, my wife, is standing in front of me. Her hair is still the pretty, long brown hair I remember. Her eyes are still the prettiest amber eyes I have ever got to witness. Her short stature is still the cutest short I’ve ever seen. 

She snapped out of her shock, “Cardan Greenbriar, what are you doing here?”

With tears on my face, I told her, “Jude, I need you. I’ve been looking for you.”

“Oh, really. You’ve been looking for me. Sucks to be you. And no, you don’t need me. If you needed me, we wouldn’t be here right now. I wouldn't have been here for the past five years. So no, you probably want me to come back to Elfhame to fix all your problems.” 

I thought she must have been happy in the mortal world. I thought she was happy without me. She didn’t get the message. She didn’t get the underlying message. 

My eyes wide with shock, “Oh, Jude. You haven’t got any of my letters, have you? You didn’t pick the words of your banishment out, did you?”

At this time a car pulled into the driveway. A tall, tan-skinned man with blonde hair stepped out and walked to the front porch. Something flashed in the man’s eyes, but I couldn’t figure out what. Maybe Jude told him about me.

Jude muttered, “This is Lukas.”

Lukas straightened his shoulders, “Is there anything I can do for you?”

I raised an eyebrow, “No, does it look like I’m here for you?”

“I’m going to ask you to leave, sir.” 

I turned to him. “I don’t know who you think you are, but you will not order me around.”

Does Jude let this man just walk all over her? I hope not. This is not the type of man I would have chosen for her. 

Jude softly put in, “Cardan, he’s my husband.” 

My eyebrows shot up. “You got married?”

Lukas spoke for Jude, “Yes, we did. I would like you to leave so I can spend time with my wife.” 

“Let me talk to him for a second.” Jude told Lukas. 

“Where’s Carwen?” Who’s Carwen??

“She fell asleep. She should be out for a little while.” 

Lukas went inside to give us some privacy. 

Jude replaced me. She didn’t love me enough to keep me. I was that easy to move on from. It doesn’t matter, I don’t matter. 

“Cardan.”

Jude snapped me out of my downward spiral.

“Was I easy to replace?”

I saw the raging fire in Jude’s eyes flame again, “Do not talk to me about being replaced easy. I had to move on, Cardan. And if you want to know, no it wasn’t easy. I loved you. I trusted you, Cardan, and you threw all of it in the trash. So I must have not been important to you.” 

Loved. Trusted. 

I was loved and trusted by Jude, and in return I silently loved and trusted her back, but I still threw all of that away. 

“I didn’t mean to. I messed up.” 

“No, Cardan, really?” sarcasm lacing every word of hers. “What do you want?”

How do I say this without sounding desperate. I’m just going to have to cut the pride and say the truth without trickery.

“You. I want you. I want the life I dreamed of having with you. I want you by my side ruling Elfhame with me. I want you pissing me off for no reason” - emotion making his words tight- “I want to wake up to you, messy hair and all. I want to grow a family with you. I want everything I thought I’d never have. And I almost had it, almost. I’m….. sorry.” 

I looked into Jude’s face, she had the same tears as I rolling down her cheeks. 

Her face was a mixture of sadness and anger, “I wanted that too. But too late now. I have built a life for myself. I picked myself off the floor and made something of myself without humiliation. I can’t want that anymore. I can’t have that anymore.” 

I look up at her. “Your banishment, Jude, my exact words were ‘I exile, Jude Duarte, to the mortal world. Until and unless she is pardoned by the crown, let her not step foot in Faerie or forfeit her life’. Jude, you're the Queen of Elfhame. You are the crown. I gave you a way. I would have never, ever not have given you a way back in. I was just waiting for you to come. Then I thought you were happy here, but it’s obvious you’re not. You just don’t belong here. And I may be selfish, but I can't be without you.”

**Jude POV**

Oh. My. Gosh. 

Cardan didn’t just throw me out. He wanted me to come back. He wanted me. He wanted the same life I wanted for myself. But it is not just about me anymore. It’s about Carwen. And right now, She’s happy. I can’t take her happiness away. And it’s not like I’m unhappy, this is just not the life I would have chosen for myself. 

I couldn’t stand anymore, I needed to sit. I sat on my porch step with my head in my hands. I needed to talk about something different. 

“What state is Elfhame in?” I asked without looking at him. 

Carden blew out a big breath. “There are rebellion groups coming up everywhere. Leadership is awful which is my fault. I don’t have a senechal so not much gets done. We usually just send our armies out to fight the rebellions, but we need better leadership so the rebellions will stop or this will be a never-ending game.”

We. Us. 

“What did you do, Cardan?”

He rubbed the back of his neck. “It’s more like what I didn’t do. Most of the time I’m revelring and drunk off my butt. It’s the only thing I can do to survive, it seems.”

I shake my head. At this time the front door opens and I expect it to be Lukas to come out and tell me to come inside, but it ends up being my five year old girl.

“Mommy, I woke up and Wukas gave me juice.”

My eyes were wide. I couldn’t let Cardan know about Carwen. If he knew he might try to take her back to Elfhame with him and I may never get her again. And if I didn’t give her to him, he may pull a Madoc move and kill me for her…...Too late now. 

“Yes, baby, go back inside. I’m talking.” Hopefully she would just go.

Unfortunately, she doesn’t. She looks at Cardan. “Woah mama he looks just like me. He has my eyes and hair too.” 

“He does, baby. Now go back inside.” 

She does as told now. I look at Cardan and his eyes are wide. I’m not quite sure he’s breathing either. Once Carwen closes the door, he looks at me, astonished. “Jude, how old is she?” 

In a quiet voice, I reply, “Five.”

In a whisper of words, he said, “I have a daughter.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Carwen says her "L's" as "W's" because she is five and I'm pretty sure I had speech like that when I was young.


	3. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carwen meets Cardan!!

**Cardan POV**

I have a little girl. Jude hid her from me. Well, can I blame her? But no, there was no reason to. I have missed five years of my girl's life. 

Trying to keep my rage down, I said with a calm but lethal tone, “What’s her name?” 

Jude, with her stuck-up anger, said, “Her name’s Carwen. Again, she’s five and she’s my whole world. I will not let you take her away from me.” 

I turned to her with wide, raging eyes, “You can not be serious Jude. You think I would just take her away from you? She’s obviously happy, I would never destroy that.” 

“I wouldn’t put it past you.” 

There was silence. A moment to let it all sink in and settle. 

“You named her close to me.” 

“It fit her.” Tight. Clipped. 

I took a deep breath and sat down by Jude on the front porch stairs. “She’s beautiful. Tell me about her. What does she like? What are her interests? Her personality?” My voice became very calm. I really wanted to know. Wanted to know what I missed out on. 

**Jude POV**

Is he really wanting to know, or just wanting to get information that will help him achieve in getting her? He’s not getting her. He will never be alone with her. She’s mine and mine only.

But despite that fact of maybe, he seems to genuinely want to know. I can see the adoration past the anger in his eyes. The slow, growing ember of love there. 

So I tell him, “She loves to paint and draw. She sings all the time. She is probably the most dramatic child I have ever met, definitely got that from you.” That makes Cardan laugh a little bit. “She is always so cheery and happy. Loves everything and everyone. No joke, she can make a stick her best friend.” We both laugh a little at that. “She’s great, Cardan.” 

I look over at him and see silent tears run his face. A pinch of guilt hits me. Those aren’t mad tears or happy tears, they’re grieving tears. Tears grieving the five years he missed. But it’s his fault, he shouldn’t have banished me in the first place. We would have been in much different circumstances if he didn’t. 

Cardan’s quiet words come through minutes later, “Does she know about me? Does she know I’m her father?” 

“No, and I really don’t intend for her to ever know.”

Cardan looked up quick, “Jude, you don’t have the right to take her like that. I want her to at least know that I’m not abandoning her. Or does she think Lukas is her father? Is that it?” 

I look down, not liking sadness in his eyes, “No, she doesn’t think that. I’ve told her her daddy was busy. But she’ll see him one day.” 

“Jude, I’m not going to take her away from you. I know your thoughts went to Madoc. I’m not him. But I want her to know me. I’m not going to abandon her. I’m not going to break her heart. I just want her to know that if I had known sooner, I would have come and lived here in the mortal lands if it meant I got to spend time with her everyday.” 

I look at him, really look at him. “And what are you going to do after you meet her? Go back to Elfhame and come meet her every couple months while she’s here asking why her daddy won’t come see her?” 

“No, I will change my schedule so that I’m able to spend time with her at least once a week.” 

I took a deep breath in, “I will let you see her, but you are to never be alone with her. I or Vivi must always be with you. You do not tell her you're her father. You have to earn that title. I will tell her you are my friend. It’s not a lie, you are in some ways.” 

Cardan laughs, “You still know how to twist words around.” That brings a small smirk to my lips. Cardan continues, “Okay that’s what I will do. I will prove to you, Jude Duarte, that I can be the father neither of us had.” 

“Good. Prove it.” I can’t believe I’m letting him try. But this is for my girl. If she decides she doesn’t want him around, then I will get rid of him in a second. If she grows to like him, I will tell her the deeper truth about him. 

**Cardan POV**

I’m about to really get to meet her. This is either going to break or make me. 

Jude leads me into her home. It’s small by my standards but large enough for the three of them. I like it. It’s… homey. 

Jude has Lukas leave and she goes to pick up Carwen. She has me sit on the couch and wait for their arrival. 

A few minutes later, Carwen, with her stuffed toys, walks in with Jude. Jude has a book with colorful writing things in her hands. 

She sets the book with the writing utensils on the low lying table in front of the couch. Carwen saw what she laid down and went right to it. Picking up the color green and coloring in the book. She looked up a few times at me from where she was on her knees across me. 

A shy smile crossed her face when I smiled back at her and she said in the sweetest tone, “Hi I’m Carwen.” 

My grinned widened, “Hello, my name is Cardan.” 

Carwen stood and picked up her stuffed toys and brought them over to me. One was deer and one was a cat. 

She showed me her deer, “This is Sadie.” Then she showed me her cat, “My cat doesn’t have a name but I think I want to name him Cardan because I like your name.” 

I laughed at that and picked up the cat, “I think that’s perfect. I love your animals, they're adorable.” 

I gave her back her toys and looked at Jude. She was expressionless. She wasn’t amused by any of this. Even though she was awfully cute. 

“You are such a pretty little girl.” I told her with such adoration. 

“Thank you. My mommy said I was too.” She paused. “You look kinda like me, do you think you’re pretty?” 

I laughed hard at that, “I don’t know sweet girl, do you think I’m pretty?” 

She looked at me and thought. Her body language is just like Jude’s. But what came out of her mouth was totally all Jude, “I’m not going to tell you. It may make your ego explode.” 

My smile was so wide, but I had to ask, “Do you even know what an ego is?” I raised my eyebrows in challenge. 

She did the same thing, “No not really, but momma says stuff about people’s egos exploding all the time. So I’m sure your ego is no different.” 

I look at Jude with a small smile. “Yeah I’m sure it is not.” 

I can’t get Jude to be amused by any of this. It reminds me of our younger days except now we have this little sweet buffer between us. 

Carwen looks at me with her big black eyes, “Do you want to be my friend?” 

I look at her, surprised by her outgoing-ness, “Yes sweet girl, I would love to.” 

She laughed a little and smiled, “I like it when you call me that.”

“What?” 

“Sweet girl.”

“Well if you like it, then I’ll call you that. 

**Jude POV**

My heart aches. Cardan is so sweet and kind to her. This is what I wanted. This is what Carwen wants. She wants a man to look at her like Cardan is looking at her. 

She is so happy with him and Cardan is so happy with her. But how long will she be happy? Cardan is not staying here forever and she won’t understand that. 

But watching Cardan coloring with her right now and her with the biggest smile on her face I can’t deny this for her. She is attracted to him. She has a want to do things with him. Maybe deep down in her, she knows. Somehow feels he is her father. 

But when will Cardan be done playing house? When will he be done with a five year olds imagination? When will he tire of dealing with her on days she throws tantrums? When will Cardan be done with being her father? 

I can’t let him break her sweet heart. He said he wouldn’t but can I trust him. I just don’t want to see the happiness I see on my baby girls face right now ever fade. 

**Cardan POV**

After staying for a couple of hours, I said goodbye to my little girl and went to the front porch with Jude. 

I turned around and said with so much hope, “I want to come back. Can I come in a week's time to spend time with her? She said something about she likes going to the park? Can I take her?” 

“I’ll be working, but I’ll call Vivi to come and… supervise. I’ll ask Carwen if she would like to go, if she does I’ll have Vivi send you a letter. You stay with Vivi, you understand?” 

“Of course, I will. If Carwen doesn’t want to, let me know, I understand. I’m practically a stranger to her.” 

Jude sighed, “Just to let you know, she loves the park and she likes you so I doubt she says no.” 

Hope. I love that feeling. 

I nod my head. “It was good to see, Jude. I’m glad you're doing well.” I waved at her and left. No emotion on her face. Only that ice cold mask. 

I came here for Jude, and I leave knowing I have a child. This is a lot to process but I wouldn’t change it for the world. This is not how I ever imagined being in a situation with a kid, but I would drop the world just to see her smile. 

I can’t wait to see her again.


	4. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cardan gets to have a day with his "sweet girl"!!

**Cardan POV**

I got back to my chamber as the sun was starting to set. When I got to my chamber, I saw the bomb pacing, looking very stressed. 

When she saw me, it was immediate relief and rage all in one stare. “My king, where have you been? We’ve been looking for you?” 

“I have gone to the mortal world.” 

She looks inquisitive, “Why were you there?” 

I sighed. “I’ve been with Jude.” 

“You’ve seen Jude? You talked to Jude? How is she?” The bomb asked almost excitedly.

I sat down on the end of my bed and rubbed my hand over my face, taking all the information in from the day. “I have seen and talked to Jude. And she is doing good. Albeit, she is very mad at me, rightfully, but she is doing well. She got married and had a child.” 

It was silent for a moment. “She really did settle down there. So I assume she is not coming back? And she doesn't want you near her family?”

“The child is mine, Bomb. She’s five, looks just like me. Her name is Carwen. She’s so sweet.” 

“Oh my, wow. That’s some news. You have an heir.” 

“I’m going to be going to the mortal world once a week to go spend time with Carwen. I spent time with her today and she was so happy. I think she enjoyed it.” 

The bomb came and sat next to me. “I’m glad Jude is letting you spend time with Carwen but I must insist that someone go with you for safety reasons. Allow me, roach or ghost to go. We won’t be a bother.”

“You can come.” 

_*5 days later*_

I got my letter from Jude saying:

**Dear Cardan,**

**Carwen is excited for you and Vivi to come and get her in two days. She can’t stop asking how many more days. Please don’t let her down.**

**Your Queen,  
Jude**

I will never let her down. 

_*present day*_

I’m nervous. I’m so excited but so nervous. What if she doesn’t want anything to do with me? What if I let her down? What if she doesn’t have fun? 

I and Bomb get to the mortal world and we make our way to Jude’s house. I had Bomb go get me some mortal clothes so that I could fit in a little better. 

When I walked up to Jude’s house, Vivi and Carwen were playing on the front porch, Carwen holding her little cat she named after me. 

Carwen was wearing a black shirt with a pink and rainbow polka dotted looking bubble jacket and some pants that were made from this weird blue material. 

When Carwen saw me, I thought my heart would explode. Her eyes got really wide, and the biggest toothy smile bloomed on her face. And then she just started running as fast as her little legs would allow her to to me. 

I kneeled and opened my arms to her and she ran right in them. I closed my arms and stood up, giving her temple a small kiss. 

“Hello, my sweet girl, did you miss me?” I said with my grin made just for her.

“I missed you sooooo much.” She practically screamed that in my ear. 

I chuckled a bit and walked to where Vivianne was standing. “I assume you know where to go?”

Vivianne looked at me and rolled her eyes. “Of course I know where to go. We will walk there, it’s not a long walk and Carwen has requested that we walk.”

I really didn’t see how we would get there any other way so I just nodded my head and set Carwen back down on the ground. She still clung to my hand though. Never leaving my side. 

I wish Jude could see this. By the look on Vivianne's face, I could tell she was amused by it. 

As we were walking Vivianne spoke up, “By the way, I think this chaperoning crap is stupid. But by Jude’s orders, I am here. As long as nobody gets hurt or lost, I can care less what you do.” 

“Nobody is going to get hurt or lost. I’m simply here to spend time with Carwen.” 

“Good.” 

We get to the park and Carwen shows me all the stuff you can do. There’s this thing called a slide and there’s a swing that she really enjoys. There’s this castle looking thing she can climb and walk through. It’s quite interesting. 

Vivianne sits on a bench looking at this small rectangular thing in her hand. 

Me and Carwen are swinging. She keeps on telling me to push her higher but I already don’t like the idea of me having to push her, there’s no way I’m pushing her any higher. But she still shrieks with happiness. Has the biggest smile on her face. 

After a couple of hours, it started to get colder and it was time to go back. She grabbed my hand and we followed Vivianne back to the house.

As I’m holding Carwen’s hand, I feel her shiver. I look down and ask, “Are you cold, sweet girl?”

She looks at me with her onyx eyes and nods. I pick her and kind of wrap my jacket around her. I know she is warming up by the content sigh that escaped her lips.

It didn’t take ten minutes until her eyes closed and she was drooling on my shoulder. It was, honestly, the cutest thing. Vivianne looked back and smiled at it too. 

We got to the house and I laid her down on the couch. I softly called her name, “Carwen, baby, wake up.” 

She groaned and whined a bit. So I tried again, I didn’t want to leave without her knowing I was, “Carwen, I have to go. I wanted to say bye first.” 

That seemed to get her attention. She opened her eyes and they got a bit teary. “No, don’t go. Stay here.” 

“I got to go.” She started to cry. “Hey, no no, baby. I’ll be back in one week, okay? I’ll come and we can play again.”

She cried, “Promise?” 

“Yes, I promise.” 

She wiped her eyes and the next words that came out of her mouth nearly broke me, “I love you, Cardan.” 

I hugged her and kissed the top of her head, “I love you too, sweet girl.” And she smiled at that. 

I love her. It’s true. At first she was a little girl I was just getting to know. But I’m starting to get attached to her. I love her like my father should have loved me. My heart simply can’t contain what I feel for her. I only need to get one other person to feel the same about me as Carwen does. 

**Jude POV**

I walked in the house that evening to Vivianne playing on her phone and Carwen playing with her dolls. Vivi’s head snapped up to the sound of the door opening. She had a look on her face that told me she had something to say. 

She stood up from the couch and walked into the kitchen to talk without Carwen paying attention. With her fae ears, she hears everything, but she’s five. She never pays attention to anything. 

Vivi put both hands down on the countertop, saying, “You have to be kidding me. I know you're not that blind.”

I knew what she was talking about but I was not about to admit it. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

She gave me an aggravated look. “Jude, really? Well first let's talk about the way Carwen looks at Cardan. And the way Cardan looks at her. He has just met her and he’s totally enraptured by her. He’s not the same king you left in Elfhame, Jude. You have to tell her he’s her father.”

I gave her a sharp look. “No, that will happen on my terms.”

Vivi gave an almost identical sharp look back. “You have got to be kidding me. You are taking away a happiness for her because you can’t swallow your own pride. You should have seen the look on her face while Cardan played with her today. You should have seen her fall asleep on him on the way back home. She cried when she realized Cardan was leaving. She told him she loved him today.”

My baby can’t lie. Those are true, sweet feelings. 

There is only one question to ask. 

“What did Cardan say back?”  
“That he loved her too. Jude, you are taking away happiness from two people. Your king husband and your daughter. He means well, Jude. He just wants a relationship with her.” 

_He can’t lie._  
_He can’t lie._  
_He can’t lie._

He loves our daughter. I look at Carwen in the living room using her imagination to play with her dolls. I can’t help but imagine Cardan there playing with her except we're in a palace in a different world. I can’t help but see her smile widen three times its size. I can’t help but see Cardan happy with her. 

Carwen has never got attached to a man before. Sure, she has Lukas, but she knows Lukas is not her father. He’s just another man that cares for her. Loves her, but not as Cardan probably loves her. And I know Carwen loves this stranger more than the man she’s known her whole life. And they’ve just recently met.

I know Vivi sees the wheels rolling in my mind. I know she knows she’s right. And she is. I can’t take away Carwen’s happiness and I can’t take away a happiness Cardan probably never expected to have. 

“I know, Vivi. I know.” Tears prick the corner of my eyes. 

Vivi hugs me, trying to comfort me. 

I think it’s time Carwen knows. If Cardan is back in a week like he says he will be, I’m going to break the news.


	5. Chapter 4

**Jude POV**

It’s now Monday which means Cardan will be coming tomorrow. Carwen has only asked a million times in the past six days. 

But if I’m going to spill the beans tomorrow, I have- no, need to make sure Carwen really likes him. 

I go to Carwen’s room where she is playing with her dolls with her doll house. I look at that and it makes me want to change my mind. I don’t want her life uprooted by adding people into it. 

But I can’t help thinking if she would want her life uprooted. If she wants a whole in her life filled. Cardan has done great with her, she deserves him. 

I wonder if she feels the absence of the “daddy” she asked so much about. If she just doesn’t know how to say she misses the absent man. 

I walk and sit on the edge of her princess bed, “Carwen, can I ask you some questions?”

She looks at me with those depthless eyes, “Yeah, mommy!” 

I took a deep breath, “What do you think of Cardan? Do you like him, baby?”

Her little smile grows at the mention of his name. “I weally weally like him. He’s nice to me. And he told me he loved me. And I wished he lived with us.”

My eyebrows shot up that. Well I wasn't going to mention this but it’s as good a time as ever, I suppose. “Did you know I used to live with him?”

She gasped in shock and shook her head.

“I lived in a big… house with him. At first, we didn’t like each other at all. But then, I started to grow accustomed to him then he became my best friend. But then something happened and we went separate ways in life.” 

I can’t believe I’m telling my five year old this. It does feel good to get it off my chest. And because she’s five, she won’t really take it to heart. 

“Mommy, did you love him like I love him?”

What should I tell her? The truth. I’ll tell her what’s true, I’m not going to start lying to my daughter. “I started to, baby.”

“Did you love him like you love Wukas?”

“I loved him so much more than that, baby. I just didn’t show it very well. 

She looked at me with a face of confusion, “Did you stop loving him?”

Oh my. I can’t believe I’m going to admit this out loud. “No, I never stopped loving him. We just had to go our separate ways. Loving him didn’t change the outcome.”

Her brows knit together, and she just gives me a small “okay” and goes about playing with her dolls. 

I am thankful she doesn’t understand. It’s easier to speak truth to her who doesn’t understand rather than Vivi who would judge my pathetic, prideful choices. 

One choice I know I am going to have to make quickly is how am I going to break the news to Carwen. How am I going to tell her that Cardan is her dad?

**Cardan POV**

I had a meeting with the court of shadows on behalf of the protection rotation for every Tuesday that I go to see my sweet girl. 

But of course, instead of determining the rotation, the three spies just wanted to ask questions about my daughter and Jude. 

Roach asks, “What does your daughter look like?”

I told him dramatically, “Get a good look at me and you’ll find out.”

Bomb, because she went with me last week for protection reasons, perked up at Roach’s question. “She’s short like Jude, and has King Cardan’s hair and eyes and she has the cutest smile. She is stubborn like Jude. You should have seen her commanding Cardan on the playground to go around and do stuff. It was priceless. Trust me.”

Roach smiles wider at me. “Seems like you're wrapped around another girl's finger.” 

I ran a hand through my hair, “Oh definitely, one look at her and I am at her full command.” 

The court of shadows are my family, they were also Jude’s family. She started to become very close to them. So they were not happy about my choice to exile her. It took a lot of talking, and a lot of asking for forgiveness. But now that they have heard about me crossing paths again with Jude, it is always constant questions about Jude. Most of them I don’t even have an answer for. 

Ghost came out of the corner and asked quietly, “How is Jude taking all this?”

Nobody dared ask that question, knowing my answer would be that she is mad. More than mad, a blazing ball of fire. 

“She is, rightfully, mad. But she is letting me spend time with Carwen and that’s all I can ask for.”

Ghost gave a tight nod and joined the card game we were all playing. 

I get to see my baby girl tomorrow, to which Roach said he would come with me tomorrow so he may get a glimpse of what she looks like. 

And then I would probably be bombarded by more questions from this crazy group I call family. 

**Jude POV**

_*next day* ___

____

I heard a knock on the front door and told Carwen to go open it, knowing very well who it was. I watched with a small smile Carwen jumping up in happiness at the sight of her look alike. 

__

I watched Cardan come in with her in his arms, the same happiness on his face as my daughters’. Cardan looked at me and his smile faltered as mine was wiped off my face. I will give him no amusement in this.

__

I went back to the kitchen to finish up lunch while Carwen and Cardan went to the living room. 

__

I finished up lunch and brought a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for Carwen and gave Cardan one also which he surprisingly really liked. 

__

While we were eating, Carwen looked up to Cardan and said so innocently, “Mommy said she used to live with you. Did you like living with her, too?”

__

I looked at Carwen and gave her a stare that said be quiet. She knows that stare pretty well. 

__

Cardan just looked at her, then me and said softly, “Yes, I enjoyed it. Those were the good days. Maybe one day it will be like that again.”

__

I gave Cardan my signature death stare, “No.” I got up and threw our trash away leaving a confused five year old, and the tension that couldn’t even be cut by nightfell on Cardan’s shoulders. 

__

**Cardan POV**

__

Carwen just asked me if I liked living with Jude too. Jude must have told her she did like living with me. I really thought she despised it for a long time. 

__

After Jude came back to the living room, we put our coats on and left to walk to the park. Carwen was holding my hand and gibbering about everything and nothing on our way there. 

__

We played on the castle again and then the swings which she, inevitably, wanted me to push her. I gave Jude a look to see what she was thinking but she just leaned against the swing pole and stared at us. 

__

I could tell a million thoughts were going through her mind. 

__

We spent a couple of hours there until Carwen started to get tired. Me and Jude decided to walk back. Jude picked up Carwen and then she started to get fussy and aggravated which then caused Jude to get aggravated. 

__

The perfect match for each other.

__

We stopped and Jude bent down and asked her sternly, “Carwen, what do you want? Why are you mad?” 

__

She let a few tears slide out of her eyes, “I want Cardan to pick me up!” 

__

“Well, baby, why don’t you go ask Cardan if he will instead of whining about something you never asked for.” 

__

She turned around to me and I bent down to her level, while she asked, “Can you hold me? I’m weally tired.” 

__

I couldn’t help but have a small smile grace my face at her wanting me. “Of course, sweet girl, I will.” I pick her up and behold, she falls asleep with her head on my shoulder. 

__

I know Roach is somewhere watching with a smirk on his face of how these girls are commanding me around. 

__

We get back to the house and I go to lay Carwen on the couch but she starts to whine. I didn’t know what to do so I just turned around and looked at Jude.

__

She gives me a mocking smile, “Well, you're her daddy, figure out what you're going to do.” 

__

I just stood there while I tried to think of what to do. Jude left to go somewhere else in the house. 

__

I came to the conclusion that I’m just going to sit on the couch and hold her while she sleeps. 

__

**Jude POV**

__

Thirty minutes later, I hear the front door open. I know it is Lukas coming home from work. 

__

Cardan has been holding Carwen for the last thirty minutes, loving and doting on her as she sleeps. I know Lukas is not going to like the picture he is going to see in the living room. 

__

I’ve been cleaning around the house, needing to do something while my brain wraps around the fact that Cardan is in the living room holding my daughter and I am about to drop the bomb of a lifetime on her five year old brain. 

__

I see him walk to the living room and quietly ask me to follow him into our bedroom.  
He says, “Jude, why in the world is that man in our living room and holding Carwen at that?”

__

I give him a stern look. It is not his business about the decisions I make, “Because Carwen wanted him to.”

__

“Well, don’t you think she is getting too attached to him? She doesn’t understand the crap he’s done.”

__

I scoff, “Well if you like it or not, he is her father, and I am going to tell her that because she has a right to know.” 

__

“I don’t even trust him around you. You guys are my family, I don’t want any accidents to happen.”

__

That was the wrong thing to say. “Oh, you mean you don’t trust me. I have been nothing but good to you.” I paused. “Actually, no, get out of the house and I will text you when he has left. If you’re going to act like a jealous man, I’m going to treat you like one.” 

__

Lukas leaves our bedroom and slams the front door closed. 

__

I walk back to the living room to see Carwen sitting in Cardan’s lap with wide, worried eyes. 

__

Cardan asked quietly, “Do I need to leave?” 

__

“No, I actually want to talk to Carwen, but I need you here for it.”

__


	6. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my favorite chapter. I hope you enjoy, and let me know what you think!!!! :)

**Cardan POV**

Jude sits down on the couch across from me, folding her hands in her lap. I can tell she is nervous. 

I have a feeling what she is going to say. My baby girl is finally going to know. I can only hope she accepts me. That she wants me to be that person in her life. More than a friend. More than a random person she met in her house. So much more. 

Jude speaks so softly to Carwen, “Honey, I have something to tell you. And I didn’t know how you would feel about it so didn’t tell you but I think this will make you very happy.” 

Carwen looks at her mom with wide eyes. I can tell she’s excited and nervous for the news by the way she twiddles with her fingers unconsciously. 

Jude continues, “You remember all those times you asked about your daddy?” Carwen nods. “Well guess who your daddy is?” 

Carwen shrugs her little shoulders, getting impatient with the fact that Jude keeps bringing the conversation out and won’t just tell her. 

And then the words I’ve been trying to earn the right to hear, “Cardan is your daddy, baby.” 

Tears welled up in the corners of my eyes, happy for her to finally know, and scared for the reaction she might have. 

She turned to me with those wide eyes, mouth agape. I saw the realization come to her. I saw the hope beat in her eyes as tears welled up there. I saw the hole of longing for someone she knew nothing of being filled. I saw happiness. 

Her little voice croaked, “Your my daddy?” 

And my voice came out just as thick and watery as hers, “Yes, sweet girl, I am.” 

She jumped up and put her arms around my neck, stuffed her little head into my shoulder and bawled. That cry sounded like relief. Fulfillment. 

I rubbed her back and kissed the side of her head until her cries came to sniffles. 

I asked, “Are you happy?” I was still a little nervous. 

She looked at me with a wide smile, and nodded. 

“Can I call you daddy instead of Cardan?” Her voice came hesitantly, like she was afraid of the answer she would get. 

“Of course. I’ve been wanting you to call me that for a while now.” 

She hugged me again. “I love you, daddy.” 

I knew this would be the hardest time leaving her, even though I knew it was only a week. Just the emotional moments we had, the connections we felt would be hard to walk away from right now. I didn’t want to go. 

I shook my head, trying not to think about that right now and to just enjoy the moment with Carwen. I kissed her cheek and said, “I love you too, Carwen.” 

I looked to Jude and saw the glint of tears in her eyes. The happiness she felt for our little girl. But I also saw regret. Not regret that she told Carwen, but regret that she didn’t tell her sooner. 

**Jude POV**

Her happiness is worth my whole life. That moment she just got to have with Cardan was everything I could have wanted for her. The reaction she gave was what I needed to know that I did the right thing, albeit, a little late. I’ll never let my selfish and prideful heart get in the way of other people's happiness again. 

And for Cardan, I’m happy he’s ready and going to be everything my girl needs and wants him to be. I’m glad he didn’t push her away. I’m glad Carwen gets what she wants. All she wants is his love, his care, his funny personality he puts on with her, she just wants him. 

**Cardan POV**

When I got back to my kingdom, Roach, who was on his protection rotation, called for a meeting to no doubt talk to the court of shadows about my trip. They were a nosy bunch of faeries. 

I got to their lair as they liked to call it, and sat down at the table ready for the inevitable questions that were sure to come. 

And of course, Bomb was first to ask, “So tell me the juicy information,” She seems to remember her place when Ghost nudged her and proceeded to add, “only if you want to.”

I took a big breath and said, “Jude told her.” 

“Excuse me, what?”

“Jude told Carwen that I was her father.” 

Bomb started to get impatient, “And?” 

I told her Carwen’s reaction, the tears we shed together, the hug, and the “I love you, daddy” I’ll never forget. 

Everyone was speechless. Roach landed on saying, “Congratulations. I know you wanted her to know, and if you ask me, that reaction is probably what you were hoping for.” 

My eyes got misty thinking back on the memory, a smile coming to my lips, “No. No, it was so much more than I could have wanted. So much more than I could have ever dreamed.” 

**Jude POV**

Me and Cardan have basically set up a routine. Every Tuesday he comes, we go somewhere “fun” according to what Carwen deems worthy, and he just spends the day. I have reset the boundaries a little. On Tuesdays that I’m working, I allow Cardan to go to the park alone, without any guidance, and because he obviously can’t drive, the park is the only “fun” place in walking distance. On Tuesdays I’m off, we usually go somewhere more out in the city, and I drive. 

It’s been months since I dropped the news of a lifetime on Carwen and she has been so happy. Every week, so excited to see her “daddy”. And Cardan, my gosh, has done an excellent job at being her father. His personal growth has amazed me. He really isn’t the same king that exiled me back in Elfhame. 

Lukas is off this week due to the fact that the company he works for is doing a renovation so they have given him a week off. 

Because Lukas is home, I asked from the bedroom while he was in the bathroom, “Hey do you want to come with us to the movie theater? For warning, Carwen is picking the movie, but you can come and we can spend time together.” 

“Umm yeah sure.” 

Just then I hear a knock on the door and then hear Carwen yell, “daddy!” and I know who it is. 

———

We get to the movie and we get four seats. Lukas sits on one side of me and Cardan on the other side and on the other side of Cardan, sits Carwen. 

She was very adamant that she gets to sit with him and eat popcorn. Cardan takes all her demands with stride. 

During the movie, I went to put my elbow on the armrest the same time Cardan did. I looked in his eyes and he looked at mine and a grateful and almost intimate smile crept on his face. A small smile crept on mine and he nodded his head at the armrest to indicate that I could have it. 

I didn’t miss the look Lukas gave him. Of course, Cardan ignored it. But that’s not what bothered me, what bothered me was that Lukas gave me the same territorial glare. And then shook his head in disappointment. 

It’s not his right to tell me who I can’t be friendly to. Me and Cardan are just acquaintances, friends at the most and only because we share a small person together. We tolerate each other for Carwen. That’s it, end of story. 

We finish the movie and head on home. Cardan and Carwen go to the park while I stay at the house to talk to Lukas. 

No one talks for a while as we stand in the kitchen, until Lukas blurts out, “I don’t want you going with him anymore.” 

I raise my eyebrows, “And why is that?” 

“I no longer feel comfortable with him around you.” 

I scoff. “Comfortable? He is here to spend time with his daughter. This has nothing to do with me and him.” 

He raises his voice. “Oh so him coming over has nothing to do with you guys? I saw how he looked at you today, and that sure wasn’t just a friendly look.” 

“You are interrupting it the way you want to. He puts a smile on his face for Carwen. He is happy to be here with us because of Carwen. That “moment” at the theater was him just being kind and letting me know I could use the armrest. That’s it.” 

He comes over to me and he traps me with his arms against the wall, “No, that’s how you look at it. And I don’t give a care what you think. He has made our relationship more distant, and it’s all because you let him into our lives.” 

No. No. No. He is not blaming this on me. 

“Well then maybe you should spend more time with us on your time off than at a bar with your buddies. Maybe that would help our relationship. Maybe you could come home after work instead. And God only knows if you’re really going out with your buddies at the bar. So if you want to be jealous and have trust issues with me then let me bring my trust issues with you. Who knows if you’re not just going out with other girls that can pleasure you better,” I stab my finger against his chest. “That can fit in your standards better, maybe other women who don’t have children with another man, ring any bells? Uhh?” 

He looks at me with anger I’ve never seen before and says, “Fine, I’m going to go to the bar because at least I’m out of your way. And I’m going to ask some friends to come, and I’ll let you sit here and speculate who they are.” He scoffed and pushed me against the wall. “You’re being pathetic Jude.” 

He turned away, grabbed his keys and left. I just don’t understand him or how he even sees a connection here. Friends, me and Cardan. That’s all we are. 

Cardan and Carwen soon got back to the house and Carwen told me all about what they did as she watched me cook dinner. 

I soon served dinner and Cardan, Carwen, and I ate dinner together. It was weird for Lukas not to be here but it was peaceful. It almost felt just a little bit like home. 

After we ate, Cardan helped bathe Carwen which mostly just included washing her hair and body and lots of water splashing and laughing. 

After that, Cardan was going to get going but then Carwen begged for him to read a story and who was Cardan to deny his princess. 

**Cardan POV**

I head with Carwen to her room. When I walk in, she has a princess themed room. Like one you would expect from a fairytale.

She goes to her shelf of books and pulls out a book that looks like it has been handmade. She gives it to me and goes to lay on her bed as she says, “I want to read about the girl who falls in love with the nice king.” 

I pull the covers over her and sit at the edge of her twin size bed.

I look down at the book and it reads “The Story of a Girl Who Braved Elfhame”. Jude wrote a story about Elfhame. She is teaching our daughter about the ways of Faerie. 

As I read my sweet girl her book, it is a depiction of what Jude did, what she went through. She put different names for some people so I assume Carwen wouldn’t know it was true. The court of shadows remained the same, I assume Jude suspects she won’t ever meet them as a kid. But for a kid, I’m sure their spy names make it fun. 

I read about a mortal girl who was taken by another family and brought to a kingdom called Elfhame. She was different from the other people so they disliked her. She was a mortal while other people were faeries, immortal. But the girl didn’t let that stop her. She fought to make something of herself. To be something nobody thought she was strong enough to be. 

First, the girl becomes a spy for prince Dain. She became part of the spy group called the court of shadows where she met a half mortal/ half faerie named The Ghost, a goblin named The Roach, and a faerie with small wings named The Bomb. 

She grew to love these people very much. 

Next she met the prince’s brother, Carson. Which I assume is another name for me. She hated him. He was cruel, mean. She tells of how he made fun of her for being weak because she was nothing but a mortal, but she made it her life's vendetta to prove him wrong. 

And oh boy, did she. 

Then tells of how Carson, I, became king. 

So second, the girl becomes king Carson’s seneschal. She basically ruled his kingdom because she was the only one with her head in the right place. 

And slowly, but surely, the hate the girl felt slowly dissipated and turned into something more of a liking and dare she say love. 

But one night the girl got captured by another kingdom. They wanted to make the king mad. But the king made a foolish deal to get her back. And she realized then that she did love him and that he loved her. That he would rather sell his soul than to know she was captured and tortured. 

So the night after her return, she was in the king’s bedchamber, and the king proposed to her. Wanting to marry her so they may have the rest of eternity together. 

And third, the girl became Queen. Her and the prince turned king loved each other enough to marry each other. The girl will always remember that night, because that night, hope shined through her so bright. And her and her king lived happily ever after. 

By the time I was done reading, Carwen was fast asleep. I stood, gave her cheek a kiss and started walking to the door. 

I couldn’t believe Jude wrote a story about me and her and ended it happy so that one day my girl wouldn’t despise me. So that my girl would like the “nice king” as she called him before the book started. I guess I could say Jude set me up for success…. again. 

I walk out to the living room where Jude stands up from the couch when she sees me. It’s quiet and only the two of us now. 

I go to her side and kiss her cheek and lowly say, “You are indeed the girl who braved Elfhame.” I paused and looked into her auburn eyes. “Thank you.” Those words felt strange rolling off my tongue.

**Jude POV**

I looked at Cardan. He read the book I made for Carwen when she was born. I wanted her to know a little bit from where she’s from, who her parents really are even though she doesn’t know it’s true. 

I nod my head at Cardan as he walks out the door, and the spot where he kissed my cheek is still tingling. I should be mad that he passed that boundary, but I can’t find it in myself to care. Because now knowing that he knows of the book, of our story together with the ending that never happened, he knows what I wished for so there is no reason to deny it. 

I saw the gratitude radiate from his eyes. I saw the love he has for me and Carwen. It just makes me want to…. nope I’m not thinking about that. I’m exiled, and I’m married to Lukas, and Cardan has no place in my life anymore, except to see Carwen and that it’s. 

Or at least that’s what I tell myself.


End file.
